Time Flies   1 comment

 

It’s hard for me to believe that Millie was born 12 weeks ago. It’s even harder for me to believe that my return to work is just around the corner (next Monday!!). The past 12 weeks have FLOWN by and I have enjoyed them so much. Being a stay-at-home mom for the past (almost) 3 months has been amazing— I love spending my day with Millie! Plus, I love having the time to do the dishes, laundry, cooking, and cleaning (plus find some time for myself!) between the hours of 7 am and 5 pm. It’s going to be a lot tougher to fit all of these things into my day when I head back to work and I have to get them done after 5 pm!. I know many people say being a mom is the hardest job in the world, but, for me, being an underwriter is much harder. So far, the mom “job” has gone quite smoothly. Millie is a great sleeper and eater and I don’t mind the diapers, the spit up, or any of the other things that come along with having a baby. A regular day at the office full of deadlines, meetings, and mountains of work (applications to review, lab results to interpret, medical records to read) is much more difficult to handle. In fact, I’m pretty nervous about returning to work and meeting all of its demands while attempting to fulfill all of my at-home responsibilities as well. After all, just because I will be returning to work does not mean I no longer have all of my “other” duties, too (I never refer to SAHM moms as “full-time” Moms because working Moms are full-time Moms too— they just happen to have an another full-time job on top of it)! My heart breaks at the thought of leaving Millie in the care of someone else for 5 days a week. The longest I have been away from Millie has been about 3.5 hours and, during that time, she was in the care of her father. However, starting Monday, Millie will be headed to the babysitter’s house for 9 hours a day. And, while I really like the sitter we chose and I feel confident that she will care for Millie in a loving way, I just dread the thought of missing out on Millie for 45 hours a week.

So, you may be asking, why am I going back to work? Because, at this moment in time, me working is the best thing for my family. I have heard people say “Sacrifice whatever you must so that you can stay home with your child.” I have thought about this quite a bit. Nate and I do not live extravagantly. We do not drive new cars. We do not go on expensive vacations. We do not wear name brand clothing. We live in a modest home. We don’t have cable TV. We have no debt except for our mortgage. Having 2 incomes does not afford us a luxurious life. If it did, Nate and I would gladly sacrifice those luxury items in order to allow me to stay home with Millie. Instead, the 2nd income allows us some comfort. We are able to tithe, set aside some money for savings, and even eat out on occasion. The 2nd income prevents Nate and I from fighting about money. I grew up in a home where my parents did argue and have considerable stress due to finances, and Nate and I have decided to do what we can to prevent Millie from being raised in such an environment. Also, I have heard some people say “I could never send my child to daycare— I don’t want someone else raising my child!”. Well, I don’t want someone else raising my child either! However, I don’t think that taking Millie to a babysitter is equivalent to signing away my parental rights. I will do my best to make the most of the time we do have together— mornings before work, evenings after work, weekends, holidays, vacations, ect. Millie will know that Nate and I are her parents! Paula (Millie’s sitter) will, of course, be a huge part of Millie’s life and an important partner in her care, but she will not be Millie’s mother. I am convinced that we are not harming Millie by sending her to a babysitter’s home for the hours when we are at work. During the time we are away, Millie will learn to show respect to an adult other than her parents. She will learn to share toys and share the attention of an adult. She will learn to socialize with other children. She will learn that her father and I love her VERY much by seeing how we sincerely look forward to the time when the work day is over and we can come together as a family. I hope that I learn things by taking her to a sitter as well. I hope that I learn to cherish my role as mother and to never think of it as a burden. I hope to learn better time management. I hope to learn to ask for help when I need it. Perhaps most importantly, I hope I learn to enjoy all of the different roles in my life— wife, mother, friend AND employee. It’s difficult to think about enjoying work now when I cannot imagine enjoying being away from Millie, but I hope that in time I find a way. 

Do I wish I could be a stay-at-home mom? Yes. Would I jump at the opportunity to stay home if I had the choice? Most likely, yes and a HUGE part of me hopes that this will be an opportunity in the future. However, at the present time, it is not an option, and I refuse to allow myself to focus on what cannot be. 

To the working-moms reading this, please give me tips! How do you do it all?!? Did you continue to breastfeed once you returned to work? When do you find time to clean? Is your employer supportive and understanding of your parenting demands?  How did your child adjust to going to a sitter?  When do you sleep? 🙂 

I return to work on Monday. To those friends and family who are believers, please pray for our family as we begin this transition. Please pray that Millie adjusts well to her new routine. Please pray that Nate would find the change to his mornings and afternoons (he will be dropping off/picking up Millie) stress free. Please pray that I would be strong and not completely miserable during the transition from stay at home Mom to working Mom! I have been so lucky to have these few months to spend at home with Millie. She has brought me unspeakable joy and I pray that she does the same for Paula (Millie’s sitter).

Before Millie was born, I felt like time was nearly standing still. I remember wishing for time to speed up! Now, I understand all too clearly the phrase “time flies.” I just hope time flies while I am at work so that I can rush home to my sweet family.

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Posted July 22, 2011 by Nate and Julie in Uncategorized

One response to “Time Flies

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  1. This is so beautifully written! You know how I feel…you’re doing the best thing you can for your family. Millie is going to have such a blast at Paula’s house with her new little playmates and friends. And she gets to see how hard her Mom and Dad work to provide for her! You’re doing great. It’s not worth putting your family into financial crisis/stress to stay home. Love you Seester!

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